Springtime is a season of new beginnings – and with that in mind, it can be a great time to let go of the hurt and anger that holding onto resentments can cause in your life. Forgiveness is not always easy, but many times, it is worth it for the psychological impact it can have on your mental health. Today, we’re going to explore the benefits of forgiveness for your mental well being as well as some steps to work toward letting go of anger toward those who have wronged you in the past.
Why Is Forgiveness Important?
Forgiveness can have a positive effect on our lives for many different reasons, including improving mental health. According to the Mayo Clinic, letting go of grudges and bitterness can lead to improved self-esteem, lower anxiety, lower risk of depression, lower blood pressure, improved heart health, and many more mental and physical benefits. Forgiveness can even boost the quality of your sleep!
But being hurt by someone, especially one that you love and trust, can be an incredibly difficult experience. It’s not always easy to forgive and forget – but allowing yourself to be consumed by negative feelings can make it hard to feel positive about life as a whole. You might also feel overwhelmed by a sense of injustice, bitterness, and anger. Seeking support from a behavioral health professional can help you work through these feelings and begin the journey toward forgiving someone you hold onto anger and resentment toward.
Steps Toward Forgiveness
Wondering how to forgive someone? Forgiveness and healing often go hand in hand, which is why reaping the benefits of psychotherapy can often involve forgiving those who have hurt you. Here are some of the steps that you can practice as you work your way toward forgiveness – and remember, true forgiveness won’t happen overnight! But there is never a bad time to get started with these steps to forgive someone.
Acknowledge Your Hurt: It’s normal to feel pain and emotions associated with a situation where someone else has wronged you. Recognizing that pain is the first step toward forgiveness and letting go of resentment.
Reflect on the Situation: Think about the pain and emotions associated with the person or situation you are trying to forgive. You want to fully understand the impact it has had on you – at this stage in the process, you might try journaling or other tactics to gather your thoughts on the situation.
Put Yourself in Their Shoes: While it may be difficult, try to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. What might their motivations or circumstances have been that motivated them to act in the way they did?
Consciously Release Resentment: Decide to let go of bitterness, anger, or the desire for revenge. You can try visualizing these emotions flowing out of your body, or you might try writing them all down and then throwing those written words in the trash.
Be Compassionate: Even though you might not feel that the other person deserves it, you can still show kindness and understanding toward them. But even more importantly, show kindness and understanding to yourself.
Commit to Your Forgiveness: Be patient with yourself – you might not feel true forgiveness right away. Still, you can make an intentional decision to forgive and release the burden of carrying around hurt and resentment.
Get Support if Needed: If you’re struggling with forgiveness, talking to trusted friends or family members may help. You can also reach out to a Maryland therapist, like our behavioral health nurse practitioners at Triumph, to get more guidance and empathetic encouragement.
Practice Mindfulness: Work on being attuned to your thoughts and feelings in the moment, without placing judgment on yourself. Your therapist or behavioral health practitioner can also help you develop mindfulness and other mental health tool box tactics that can support your wellness.
Set Boundaries: Even if you have forgiven someone, you don’t have to give them an all-access pass to your life. Establish healthy boundaries to protect yourself from harm in the future and prioritize your own well being.
Extend Forgiveness to Yourself: Sometimes, forgiveness is especially difficult if the situation shines a light on some of the qualities we don’t love about ourselves. When you forgive yourself, you have the chance to acknowledge your own mistakes and shortcomings. Then, treat yourself with the same compassion and kindness you give to other people.
Look for Meaning: An experience may have been painful and stressful, but you can still find meaning from it. Look for ways to learn from the experience and places that you can grow from the lessons you have learned.
Tips for Forgiveness
Recognizing the value of forgiveness is often the first step toward effectively forgiving someone. When you understand the impact forgiveness can make in your life, you’ll often have an easier time embracing it. It’s also important to remember that while forgiveness can lead to reconciliation, this is not always the case. You can forgive someone and still not want to have a relationship (in whatever form) with them – and vice versa. When you forgive someone, you take away the power they have over you in imbuing your life with negative emotion and resentment. In a way, forgiveness is taking back control over yourself and your day-to-day life.
It’s also important to remember that forgiving someone does not guarantee that they will change their actions or behavior. You can’t change someone else, but you can change the way you think about their actions and respond to them. Ultimately forgiveness is a service to you. You’re freeing up your mental energy to focus on more important things instead of stewing in the past.
Get Support from Triumph Behavioral Health
This spring, release yourself from the burden of past hurt, anger, and resentment by practicing forgiveness. Of course, this can be much easier said than done. If you need support finding the path to forgiveness and moving forward, our team at Triumph Behavioral Health can help. We’ll work with you to formulate an individualized plan that can help you take back control of your mental health and turn over a new chapter in your life.
Want to learn more about working with a professional behavioral health provider? Reach out to our team today! At Triumph, we care.